Susan Boring

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Why is Susan Boyle’s story worth mentioning?

I want to meet the individuals who sat around together and collaborated to make this story a worldwide event. “Hey you know what I saw the other day? A 48 year old Scottish singer with learning disabilities who received a standing ovation on a single performance televised on a British talent show she herself hadn’t won.”

“We should make this an event that gets worldwide attention..”

“Why?”

“Well until David Hasselhoff gets drunk again we really don’t have anything.”

How and why is this a story that deserves national recognition? I don’t want to take anything away from this woman’s beautiful voice but she’s not a performer, she’s not a songwriter, and she is far from marketable, so why is she even being passed along as something worth mentioning?

She’s making appearances on television shows, she’s having camera crews follow her around, she’s being offered large sums for interviews, she’s having contracts set up with Syco Music to try and become their next big “pop” sensation (which is bull because she can’t sing pop music in traditional pop fashion). All of this attention because she sang a song from Les Miserables. “I dreamed a dream” has been sung by over 525 actors in over 11 languages over 29 years, yet most of those names have gone unmentioned. Many of the previous singers have not only sang it better than Ms. Boyle but more often and consistently, why are these people not being held in Forbes Magazine as possibly being the next potentially rich people based on no actual skills?

Susan Boyle has no personality, she doesn’t have a marketable sob story, she’s not attractive enough to overcome her previous two situations, and she’s 48 years old, a little old to start a music career based on just having a voice to sing “I dreamed a dream.” With all that being said, people please stop giving her this much attention. I understand she’s an ugly Scottish woman who’s socially awkward and seems like a fish out of water, but this doesn’t warrant her this much attention. Give her a standing ovation, give her an interview after the show, let her win the competition and sign her to another shady Simon Cowell music contract and let her fall into 2009 history of obscurity. She’s not worth giving a makeover to (because under all those hairy eyebrows and down syndrome looking foreheads, is more hairy eyebrows and down syndrome looking foreheads.)

Perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t care that she’s only had one job her entire life she only worked for 6 months, I don’t care that she’s lived at home for all of her life, I don’t care that she’s never been kissed (and rightly so, you’re a 48 year old virgin who hasn’t actually done anything in life), I don’t care that she sang Karaoke in bars (not as impressive when little Japanese business men that are tone deaf can claim the same thing). I don’t care that she volunteers at a Roman Catholic church (nuns do this, not that impressive), none of these things should be put on magazines, in interviews or in the media, Susan Boyle, sad enough to say, is just a person with a boring life.

Are you that boring of a person to find this boring ass person, entertaining?

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